21 Day Challenge – Community

If you missed the Facebook post, I’ve been trying to focus on meeting new people. It actually stemmed from reading about a 21 Day Challenge on the Art of Manliness website. This has been a difficult endeavor. As an introvert, I am much more comfortable sticking to the people I know. Additionally, my life is pretty cyclical and doesn't involve seeing and meeting new people each day. In fact, there are only rare opportunities for this, and I try not to force the interaction by running up to strangers and shouting in their face. It has been difficult, and honestly, I've only spoken to 1 or 2 new people in the last 10 days. I'm not quitting, but I've realized that, perhaps additionally, I should do all that I can for those I know and am around all day. This may be the more impacting and effective way to do good.

Allow me to quickly explain my idea using an illustration. Let’s look at the example of the church. So often, we look at the story of Jesus and his calling of the disciples. He calls them 1 or 2 at a time. It portrays 1 calling another or 2 others. The problem is when we stop there. We don’t continue down the story, when community attracts the 1s and 2s and thousands. After Jesus and his disciples are an established group and community, we see others drawn to that community.

To shift our gaze to present day, in the life of a church, we don’t see 1 person saying, “Come follow me.” We see a person saying, “Will you come to church with me? Will you be a part of our community?” As outsiders to the community, we are attracted. People are not usually attracted to isolation. That doesn’t mean that, as an introvert, I don’t want to get away from time to time. Even Jesus took moments in isolation on the hillside with the Father. What this means is that as a part of a group, we don’t see the wallflower at the dance or the guy sitting alone at the lunch table and think, “I wish I were sitting off to the side, alone.” Or “I wish I were sitting at a table alone, too.”  Instead, we see the group of people sitting together and think, “I wish I could be a part of that. I wish I were part of that group.”

To be most effective in my efforts to build relationships, I thought that I should try my best to meet new people. This is a worthy cause, to desire to increase the number of relationships I have with others, to stumble across the path of a man who just needs a smile or random act of kindness. However, I realized that this can be very difficult to accomplish and not necessarily due to my own fault. I am around the same people every day. I work with the same people. We sit at our assigned cubicles, limiting visibility and interaction with others. Therefore, the likelihood of an encounter with a new individual is less likely than a repeated interaction with the same person I see each day. If this is the case, then wouldn’t it be more likely that I could enhance the existing relationships rather than meet someone new?

If I build upon the relationships I have and enhance the community, is it possible that others will be attracted to the community? I believe so. To speak to numbers, it is also likely that other members of my community will have relationships and encounters with those outside the community and may be able to draw them into our community. As communities tend to share ideas, it is possible that my desire to meet new people could spread to those in my community. My desire becomes their desire. My mission is now the mission of the community. How much more effective is a community over the individual?